Motherhood can be challenging at the best of times. It’s not easy juggling the needs of little people with our own needs, and when the pressure is on it’s usually the little people that win out. But there are ways to make sure your goals still matter, and, in this post, I am going to share them with you. Before you read the list, I invite you to take a few moments to consider your goals and write them down. Ready? Then read on…
1. For each goal consider what you need to be able to achieve those goals. For example, if you are setting up a business you might decide that you need two clear hours each week when your partner takes the kids out and you have time to focus on your business without being distracted by your little people. Be very honest about what you need to make your goals happen and go into as much detail as you can.
2. Visualise your goals. Take some time to consider how you will feel when you’ve achieved your goals. Then try writing it down in as much detail as you can. This is a useful positive psychology-inspired practice that can help people to stay on track with achieving your goals. The more you revisit your visualisation, the more easily you will bring it to mind and the more motivated you are likely to be to achieve it.
3. Make an action plan. If you have decided that you need your partner to take the kids sometimes to give you head space to proceed your business plan, your first action point might be to initiate the conversation with your partner that evening. It is important to put deadlines against each point to keep it tangible.
4. Start small. Don’t take on more than you can manage, or you’re setting yourself up to fail. If your to do list is so long you don’t know where to start, try dividing it into short, medium- and long-term actions, and only put the urgent tasks into the short-term column.
5. Stay accountable to yourself. Try choosing a time each week when you won’t have demands on your time such as little people distracting you. Be honest about where you are and if you’re on track with your goals. If not, consider what actions might be necessary to correct your path, and use the action plan process detailed above to set some new deadlines to get back on track.
6. Keep showing up. The kids have been sick, you’re tired, demotivated and not in the mood. Try parking all that, just for a moment, taking a deep breath and jumping back into your plan, even if it’s just dipping a toe in the water. Accept that everyone – especially mums – has off days and weeks. It’s so easy to get frustrated when we feel we have let ourselves slide, but the important thing is not to let it throw us completely off track. Focus on what you can change not on what you can’t. As long as you keep showing up, no matter what challenges life throws at you, you WILL succeed.
7. Find a buddy. Do you know a fellow mum who also feels they aren’t achieving their goals? Why not sit down together and make an action plan and initiate a weekly touch point call to discuss whether you’ve achieved your goals for that week. It can be an enormously helpful way to stay accountable not just to yourself but also to each other.
8. Be Kind to yourself. Practice the art of self-compassion. You’re doing a great job of raising your little people. Take some time for you and celebrate what you’ve achieved so far. You’ve got this, mama!
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